Living with a full cup: The importance of Self Care for Carers by Nadia Ramatour

 Nadia Ramoutar is a writer, artist, social change and wellbeing advocate globally with a PhD in Communications.  She lives in Wicklow, Ireland. More about Nadia can be found via her website http://www.freemymojo.com

Many of us know a lot about mindfulness and have not only read many books on it but may also have taught other people about it too – or even written books about it. The interesting thing about mindfulness is that it is so individual – like our thumbprint and is dependent on the wellbeing of the mind practicing the mindfulness.  It is not a one size fits all approach.  I invite you to explore with me if your self-care is adequate enough to host your wellbeing. Recently, I was talking to a friend I know to be a good mother who said she yelled at her child. She knew she was out of control, but she couldn’t stop. With one look at her face, I knew she was exhausted.  Exhaustion and depression are sisters who look a lot alike.

What is tricky about self-care is that it is not always the same for everyone.

We have individual needs and what helps me might not be helpful to you.  I say it frequently “We can’t pour from an empty cup.”  This is true but perhaps a gross oversimplification of a much bigger issue. If our cup is empty it is often because many straws are in it drinking from it or perhaps the cup is chipped and leaking precious content. Self-care is hard to see from our own perspective and how much we need is often hard to gauge. I dare to suggest that we are most aware of it when we are in dire need of it. The cup runs dry and we collapse, mentally, physically, spiritually or emotionally.

The Japanese have an ancient artform of pouring gold into cracked pottery and making it whole again called “kintsurgi”.  I strive now to make self-care an artform. But, when we are caring for others, working a job or building a business it can easily get relegated to back shelf. It is easier to deny ourselves than to deny other people. Many of us use what little spare time we have to catch up on things that need to be done. We can’t practice self-care if we are overcommitted or exhausted. Sometimes we have to say “no” to other people so we can say “yes” to our wellbeing.

 Being true to ourselves can be a challenge when life gets messy, which it has a way of doing. Maybe reminding ourselves that hard times are temporary can be helpful. So what else help us? Again, each one of us are individual. What stresses you might help me.  Also, we change over time and somethings no longer work for us. We are growing and changing all the time.  Try to give yourself the time and awareness to design your life in a way that is rewarding and brings a constant flow of energy that is going both ways.  Solace can be found in our symbiotic relationship which are sustainable.

As an artist, writer and parent, I am interested in the natural energy flow or mojo that I can experience and how unlimited I can be in what I can attain. I have learned a lot of what I now know the hard way. I encourage you to consider actually scheduling our needs into our daily and weekly plans.  

Consider 3 – 5 things that work for you on the regular that replenish your cup.

If we can take time to relocate the straws drinking us dry or maybe fix the cracks in the cup that cause us to lose energy. This is just a reminder that it is okay to ask for help from other people and to get professional help when needed. Let’s enjoy the gold filling the cracks in our cups!

I invite you to be as gentle and loving with yourself as you can in the week ahead. You are worth the effort. You are precious cargo!  Handle with care.

Nadia has an Art Exhibition currently running - Feb 1 to 12th.  She also has a Meet the Author Event Saturday, 11th February 2pm both are at the Arklow Maritime Museum, Bridgewater, Arklow

You can find Nadia on Facebook: Nadia Ramoutar   and Instagram:         Drnadram